Are dreams really 'coded messages'?

In that case, I think I might need some kind of therapy. I always dream vividly (when I manage to sleep, that is). I always have done: it’s not at all uncommon for me to talk when I’m asleep, saying people’s names* or chatting away about something incomprehensible. I had a dream once where my then-boyfriend was stabbed, and I woke up to find myself sobbing, and him already awake from the noise of my crying. We broke up about a week later - I guess your girlfriend dreaming about your death and crying because you didn’t leave her your motorbike can make you have second thoughts about a relationship.

My dreams are often so realistic that I get déjà vu, or even believe they’ve actually happened. The only tell-tale signs that they were dreams are either a) the person I’m talking to is absolutely clueless (“but we talked about this!” “When?” “Yesterday.” “But I haven’t seen you for four days.”) or b) when the situation blends different aspects of my life together (for instance, the day before Tom’s funeral I dreamt that someone was taking a register and, finding Tom to be the only one missing, insisted we didn't start until he arrived).

Recently I’ve found falling asleep relatively easy, but my dreams are getting weirder. They’re not so realistic anymore – thank God – but falling into two categories: romance and murder. What a great combination! One minute I’m eloping, the next I’m running away from a crazed axe murderer. My subconscious has a lot of explaining to do. I haven’t had dreams this graphic and violent since I watched one of the Saw movies.** I blame Dexter Morgan –my subconscious definitely appears to be stealing his ideas. I love watching Dexter, but I didn’t realise that my Id was taking notes, ready to use on me a few weeks later when I’d forgotten about it. I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to be decoding from these dreams... One thing I will say for my subconscious though: it knows how to create a decent murder mystery. Two weeks of these dreams later and I still haven't figured out who the killer is.


The other dreams I’ve been having are about my boyfriend. Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays abroad: they all infuse me with a slight sense of dread. I must admit, I felt a huge wave of relief when I saw my boyfriend put my present under the tree on Thursday. Far too big to be a ring box. In reality, I’ve already chosen my ring (either this one or this one), my dress, my wedding venue*** – but, when it comes down to it, don’t really want to get married. Not for few years anyway. It makes me feel old! Our best friends are getting married in February (to each other), and my first thought on finding out was “ooh how exciting, I’ll get to buy a new dress”. Not, “oh how jealous I am! I wish that was me!”
In fact, both boyfriend and I panicked slightly at their announcement. Particularly when we discovered that a few of our friends have made a bet on whether we’ll get married next in our friendship group – will have to make sure the boyfriend doesn’t speak to them at February’s wedding. The whole idea makes me want to hide behind the sofa from now until March, and even then I’m only coming out if he promises to buy me something safe for my birthday, like an iron or a baking tray.

Meanwhile I'll continue attempting to persuade my subconscious that dreams about massacres are not in the least bit interesting, and that marriage dreams are also overrated. I'm not sure what it will come up with in their place though... What do normal people dream about?!


*I clearly haven’t done this recently, given that boyfriend hasn’t left me.

**5 years later, I’ve still not forgiven the Evil Ex for tricking me into watching that. Hitting me; cheating on me; attempting to beat up current boyfriend – yep, all forgiven (well, forgotten at least). Making me watch Saw? I will never forgive that. Never ever ever.

*** If your girlfriend says she’s never thought about any of these things, she’s lying.