Sunday, 18 April 2010

Volcanic Ash v. My Guilt Complex

So Easter hols = lots of fun = lots of posts. Unfortunately the only one that's finished is the most boring post ever, but hey. It's also the most recent, which means a lot of backtracking when the others are up.. Never mind. Here we go.

I went home* last week to visit my family. It was great to see them, but I did have a more serious reason for going - my nephew was having an operation, and I didn't want to leave Mum (who worries like a champion) on her own that day. It wasn't a major operation, but it did require a general anaesthetic. Last time my nephew had one of those he was horrifically ill, so I can understand her concern. My family are all on a bit of a descent into total deafness - and my poor baby nephew is accelerating past us all at a scary rate. This is his second operation to try to restore his hearing. So far, fingers crossed it worked.


*I suppose I should say "parent's home", given that I don't live there anymore. But it's still my home! I'll just be like the Queen.


But, the weekend was fast approaching and with it the end of the Easter hols (boo!). I was seriously running out of time to fulfil my good intentions of being fully planned for the first two weeks back after the hols. Time for me to look at returning down south in time to get organised (ha) for my final six weeks of training (21 lessons left with year 8!).


My first flight home was cancelled; I rescheduled. Not a problem – plenty of time, safety first, etc etc.
My second flight home was cancelled. I rescheduled. Inconvenient, but can't be helped.
My third flight home was cancelled. Seeing a pattern emerging, I declined their offer of yet another rescheduled flight.

That third flight was supposed to be this afternoon. The last opportunity to get back before Monday morning. The last direct train to my local station left an hour before the flight (no, I didn't check this earlier, when I could actually have done something about it). The only alternative was a seven and a half hour journey involving five trains in total and a £197 ticket. Pfft. No thanks.

So instead, I'm sailing down the M6 at 110mph (obviously not behind the wheel). Struck by a major guilt complex, I couldn't bring myself to take tomorrow off school and get the direct train home – even though I have no lessons and will spend the entire day watching my school laptop load, freeze, restart, and freeze again. Madness, I know, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't phone and say 'I can't get in' until I'd tried EVERYTHING. So I did what every normal girl would do – I called on Daddy. Actually... that's not really true – I'm not very good at asking for favours either. Dad offered. I declined (the whole guilt thing again). He asked what else I would do. I accepted. Now he's driving me from one end of the country to the other, and returning home again ready for his work (in Scotland!) tomorrow, in the space of one afternoon. Dad's Audi was stolen from the driveway a few weeks ago, so we're currently in his new Passat. I really like the new car, although Dad as a die-hard Audi fan isn't too happy. The Audi didn't half make you travel sick, though – this is MUCH better. I would never have been able to type blog entries/read Anthony and Cleopatra in the A6.

I am going to owe Dad a LOT of chocolate and beer after this. I'm going to be sending them over by the bucketload for the next six months.

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Backflips and Breakthroughs

Easter holidays are here!!

Drove home in the sunshine, pile of books/tests/mocks on the passenger seat beside me, singing along to the radio and feeling *good*. But Skinny Love comes on the radio and the next thing I'm wondering why I can taste salt. I hadn't realised I'd begun to cry.

I've heard that song a few times since Tom's funeral and whilst it takes me back it doesn't always make me cry. It's never caught me so unexpectedly though. Maybe it's because I'm tired. Scrap that - I'm exhausted. Never in my life before yesterday have I gone to bed at 6pm (admittedly I got up again at 7.30 to eat/do work, but I just couldn't carry on without sleep first!). I am so ready for this holiday.

The kids were WILD today! And I do mean, wild.* For a moment I knew how nursery teachers feel. And monkey-trainers, although my apes didn't appear to be even remotely trained. Where is the 'dislike' button?



(Weird, huh? I hate monkeys.)

*Having said that they were wild, today we had no backflips, which meant that my heart rate remained largely normal for the entire hour with that class. (Seriously, Monday's lesson - I discovered I have most of the school gymnastic team in my class. And they decided to showcase their routine for me. Their ordinary teacher LOVED it. I was panicking like a... crazy, panicky thing... "No no no don't do it! [Oh, can't watch!]" The lighting in that room is LOW. Their backflips were HIGH. (They tried to do them off the desks, initially, but I managed to override the class teacher on that one). So they settled for doing them on the floor - safer, right? Well, maybe, but everytime their hair brushed the carpet I felt a little more sick. It was the kind of routine you would pay to see. But I would willingly have paid them to NOT do it during my lesson...).



But, today everyone remained in their seats - bonus! AND I made a major breakthrough with one child who is surrounded by C.P. issues: he spoke to me. He arrived early to my lesson - presumably trying to avoid being in the crowded corridors. I smiled, said 'morning' - cue awkward silence whilst he stared blankly at me and I carried on setting up my laptop, trying to look busy and hoping other kids would arrive soon. After a while, I heard "It's nearly the holidays, miss." Didn't recognise the voice. Turned round - still only him in the room. He doesn't sound at all how I imagined he would. Still - A.Mazing. On the way out, a quiet "have a good birthday miss". My word C, I could have hugged you.


But anyway, who decided it would actually be a good idea to put the end of term assessments (in exam conditions) on the last day of term??
When I am fully qualified, the last day of term shall be reserved solely for DVDs. I shall choose a few of my then-favourite films, whack them onto the projector at 8.30am and allow kids to file in and out every hour until it reaches 3pm. I may even share my popcorn with the lucky ones.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

A Pupil Broke My Heart Today...

I have a real thing for the underdog children.

I realise how wrong that sounds - but hold off calling the police because it's really quite innocent. But, I have a couple of rough classes at the moment and seem to - unintentionally - get on best with the kids in my classes who everyone else seems to despise. I root for them. I talk to them in the corridor. I defend them when the staffroom turns on them like wolves and a chipmunk - and I always get eaten alive, because funnily enough experienced teachers don't always like to hear that the trainee doesn't agree with their bitter description of their nemesis.


This week, though, the boys I have been defending have let me down. Big time. More than that - (brace yourself for that immortal line) - they have really, REALLY let themselves down.

In fact, they could only be described as purebred idiots. Imbeciles. Fools. Twits. Tw*ts, even. Absolute flaming F'wits.

I'm only going to tell you about one today because I only have the time/mental stamina for one!

There is a current epidemic throughout the school for fighting. It only started recently, but has escalated with terrifying speed. The fights get more dangerous and more frequent every day. Only year 7 are not infected - but it's probably only a matter of time.

So, during tutor time today I overhear a conversation which makes me - literally - want to scream. And weep. And shake the child involved until his brains fall out because he clearly isn't using them.

Said boy - N - is in my year 11 class. They're predicted E grades - some Ds. N, however, is desperate for a C and together we're going to make sure he gets it. He is a lovely guy, works SO SO SO hard and is always friendly - very popular with his classmates.

He threatened someone with a weapon today, and then beat them unconscious. In front of a small number of teachers - most of whom were too afraid to physically intervene because of the extreme violence and the fact that there were weapons involved.

Hearing about fights at school is always sad.
But to hear that it was one of my favourite pupils...

I was just gutted.

What is going on in school at the moment? There seems to be no reason, other than bored and the rain (I've learnt that teachers blame a lot of things on the weather).

Bring on the Easter hols!

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Domestic Gods: Nice thought, but no thanks.

The boyfriend invaded my territory last night.




Stop laughing - that isn't a sordid euphemism.

In our house, I own the kitchen. I also have responsibility for the lounge, the bathrooms, the bedroom and the study. That's basically the entire flat.

Last night, I found my boyfriend loading the dishwasher.

Until now, I didn't realise he was aware that we actually have a dishwasher. Well, obviously the dishes are cleaned somehow - but I thought he assumed that was me.
But no, last night I discover him stacking plates in the dishwasher. I was stunned, pleased and a little amused.

I am completely ambivalent about this situation.

1. Oh, he's finally recognised its existence... thank goodness... Less work for me. Result. And I didn't EVEN have to hint this time (my hints usually go along the lines of "please can you put those plates in the dishwasher? Plates? Dishwasher? - Please?" whilst resisting the urge to click my fingers and point). Housework does build up quickly* in our flat, even though there are only two of us: I have taken over most of the free space with files, document boxes, my laminator/photocopier/guillotine etc. Teacher-y things have spread from the study into the lounge, and have well and truly taken over now. A couple of months ago we discussed getting a maid - then decided that it was a silly idea because the flat was too messy to ever invite anyone into, much less expect them to attempt to tidy it. So if the boyfriend is now going to share the housework with me, that is absolutely awesome.

*I feel I should point out here that our flat is CLEAN - there are no piles of last week's takeaways, dirty laundry, etc. It's just not that tidy.

2. The kitchen is my domain... The dishwasher my favourite ally.
And there is a system, actually... Everything has a place otherwise it doesn't all fit in. No, small bowls go on the bottom shelf and why have you spaced it out like that so there are only two saucepans on that row instead of four?! Now we'll have to put it on twice! Oh, you've already turned it on? Honey, it runs for over two hours and is SO LOUD. Do you never wonder why I only put it on overnight??




You see guys, whether you meticulously attempt to help with housework or wait until the rats have moved in and the entire inside of your fridge is covered in grey fluff, you will be in trouble. Your best bet is honestly just to keep your head down and avoid all confrontation with the kitchen. Feminists will die a little inside at that comment, but I don't care. There is a reason those sexy maid outfits only come in female versions.


Alright, so we are overworked and stressed and we may well get up an hour before you, get in an hour later and rarely go to bed on the same day we woke up because of the amounts of work we bring home. And sometimes we prioritize essays and our year 10s over hoovering the lounge (solution: get a Roomba). We put away washing and tidy at 2am because that's the only point we have time.

And of course it would be lovely if a magical housework fairy (that's you) did all the work whilst we typed and wept and consumed gallons of wine/tea. But don't feel the need to get too carried away with being 'helpful' or we may just wonder what you hit your head on. Even if you don't understand the intricate way of positioning the plates on the racks and don't put all the forks together in one compartment, we still love you to bits.

Sunday, 14 March 2010

The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing But...

Depending on who you are and how close we are, you either know everything about me or very little. I'm all for sharing with my friends.

You would think that, with an anonymous situation like blogging, free-for-all detail would be the way forward. But I think I'm actually really conservative - there are a few things I just don't blog about.



1. Work
Sure, I'm quite open about the fact that I'm a trainee teacher. And that I've recently been employed and therefore am well on my way to becoming a genuine teacher. But you don't know where - and that's really important! I don't usually blog about school but it's bound to come up sometimes - and it'd a *Disaster* if it got back to my Department/the kids. In a career where it's technically inappropriate and irresponsible to go out and get drunk at the weekend, blogging too openly is not really a smart move.

2. Religion
I'm a Christian, but I don't feel the need to use my blog as an evangelic vehicle. I'm more than happy to discuss my faith, but I strongly dislike sounding as though I'm just out to convert the masses and put another notch in my Biblical bedpost.
I wasn't too impressed to come across a New Scientist headline the other day about atheists having a reputation for being "well educated" - the implications about people with faith being all too obvious. I also hate the word 'religious' - I get riled when people refer to me in that way. It has awful connotations - yes I have faith, and I'm not ashamed of it.I'll talk about it happily with anyone. But I hate having a label which reminds me of those people who force their unfounded and usually outrageous beliefs down the throat of anyone within earshot of their megaphone. Hell - they drive everyone mad so please don't judge other 'religious' people based on your experience of people on street corners.


3. Sex
I know what some of you are thinking.
The reason I don't discuss sex is because of the above point - clearly, I don't have any. You're wrong, but let's leave it there for now. I'll probably come back to this topic when I eventually get round to blogging about H.

Friday, 12 March 2010

Baby Gets Shaky After School...

'Shaky' is probably going to be a very apt description of my state tomorrow morning... I've got some celebrating to do! I'm heading out tonight with some of the IBM boys to celebrate becoming, in their words, an official tax payer and no longer a scrounging student.


It sounds much more exciting in my words: a REAL, PROPER, OFFICIAL, grown up TEACHER!


Yesterday I had the interview for the VIJ (actually, a quick scan of my drafts folder shows that I never published the posts leading up to this, so I should probably explain that VIJ is the Very Important Job that I've been desperate for) and...

1. I have never been so scared in my life*
2. I really enjoyed being there and know it's the right place for me
3. They employed me!!
4. There was another girl at the interview too, who was so lovely - and they've employed her too, so we'll get to work/be NQTs together!
5. They employed me!!

I officially start in September, but will actually start in late June. I am SO excited, although I woke up this morning CONVINCED I'd dreamed the whole thing! (Yesterday morning, I was convinced I'd slept through the interview, which would have actually been quite an achievement considering I didn't sleep).

I had such a nice time yesterday seeing the department I started my training in. They were all exactly the same - still fabulous. This shouldn't be surprising as it really wasn't that long ago that I was there, but it feels like a VERY long time ago! I can't wait to go back in September as an official teacher, knowing that this time there's no countdown until I have to go. The person leaving is moving onto an even better situation (if such a thing is imaginable); so whilst I am really sad they're going, I'm also incredibly excited for their adventure. (I LOVE it when life goes through those phases of being one big happy adrenaline rush).


As the only girl in the group going out tonight, I usually do all of our organising - but tonight I've been spoiled! The boys have chosen a restaurant for me, one which I've never been to but have been assured is very good. It's Asian, and I love Asian food. Then we've booked a table at P&P, which does a beaauutiful chocolate cocktail... After several of those, we could end up anywhere!







Then tomorrow, I can rejoin the real world of lesson planning and marking - the mocks year 10 did in my absence yesterday are eagerly anticipating being smothered in green** pen...


* That's not strictly true. The scariest moment of my life was when my horse nearly died and I was signing the 'yes you can put my horse down if you need to' papers (they made me!) with one hand; holding a tube in position up his nose with the other; desperately pretending I couldn't feel the blood soaking my legs. Whilst surrounded by six - I exaggerate not - SIX student vets frantically prepping him for surgery. But that's a whole other story.

**(Heaven forbid I use red pen...)

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Glitter & Champagne (& hoping I didn't dream it...)




Particularly apt, given that I'm from Cheshire, wouldn't you say?
Earlier this week I posted something about 7 Reasons My Life is Amazing. Today just happened to top the lot. Twice over.


I'll elaborate when a) I'm no longer speechless and b) I have finished clearing* the lounge in order to make room on the table for champagne and lemon cake...


*this is a short way of saying that I'm madly throwing everything bar the sofas and bookcases into random boxes and then hiding them in the study.